Haha and thanks for including mommies of either gender! I relate, sort of, from the outside. As my (very brown, Indian American, female, New Yorker) cousin explained to me when I asked why it was so hard to get play dates for my daughters, “You are brown, male, a PhD, in the mid West, that is three strikes more than I have”.
I got along best with the non joiners too, the ones who planned to return to their professions or income sources, by choice or obligation.
I did join the MTA, but to work on a very specific issue, not to share my curry recipes.