Hi @karennimmo,

I found your article very insightful, and shared it with my recent ex/near future partner, as food for discussion. Long story short, she didn't take it well, though she too found the "cat" people and their comments incredibly narcissistic and hateful. In the middle of her ongoing depression she made the decision to break-up with me for some ever-changing inconsistent set of reasons with "I can't meet your needs" and "I worry that you won't support the future I've envisioned for myself.". Since this was the third time, I decided to respect her decision and not find a possible way forward.

Within two days, she was e-mailing me, confessed that "the break up felt wrong" three hours after doing it (when the "shock wore off") and now wants to get back together. She is doing some soul-searching and "work" on herself, but I am wary of re-exposing myself to potential hurt.

What have you written about couples getting back together? Conditions, long-term success, tell-tale signs of unhealthy patterns and stretched out ongoing distress, power asymmetry, deal-breakers, motivations ...?

Thank you.

I stop to miau to cats.

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