Hi Lisa,

First, I agree with you that there is never an excuse for cheating, and that it something lazy (or weak) people do.

But “cheating”, since it is breaking the rules, is a function of what those rules - stated, unstated or negotiated- are. Hetero sexual monogamy is one possible rule, but even that had been asymmetrically imposed: at least until recently men have either not considered it to apply to them or have broken it with impunity. (By the way read MLK Jr’s letter from Birmingham jail for his perspective on power and the meaning of “breaking the rules”.) Your sentence that begins “as a woman, …” indicates that you’ve internalized this patriarchy - fidelity has nothing to do with being a man or a woman. Yes I’m mansplaining, but YKW, sometimes a man can be more feminist than a woman.

“Where I was raised…” is your failed attempt to say “in my (needless to say superior) family/culture/community” in a non racist way. You should try growing past where you come from, you didn’t choose it, you just happened to be born into it, so there is no need for you to be so proud about it, and, and, you can choose something else! Isn’t that liberating? Very few people come from where you come from, so you can let go of that BS, and come join the rest of humanity!

Finally. Finally finally finally, my statement “sometimes it’s just for the sex” was an answer to the “why do women cheat on their husbands?” article and a counterpoint to the mostly high falutin' reasons about “emotional needs and understanding” blah blah blah. Again, as a feminist, …

Sometimes

It

Is

Just

For

The

Sex, fucking, cunnilingus, somebody to go down on them, somebody to love.

I stop to miau to cats.

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