Over the past few weeks Stormy Daniels, Nikki Haley and I have been asked countless times to comment on reports of an alleged sexual relationship we (collectively and individually) had with Donald Trump many, many, many years ago. The fact of the matter is that each party to this alleged affair denied its existence in 2006, 2011, 2016, 2017 and now again in 2018. I am not denying the affair because I was paid ‘hush money’ as has been reported in overseas owned tabloids. I am denying this affair because it never happened.

Neither Nikki Haley nor I have been invited to appear on Jimmy Kimmel Live! — which may have something to do with our (even collective!) bra-size — but we both trust that Stormy will fairly represent all the victims of not having had an affair with Trump nor of not having been paid hush money for not admitting it.

I stop to miau to cats.

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