My recent ex has just been diagnosed with avoidant attachment style. The funny thing is that she was the one who had the attachment styles book lying around and asked me to read it. I was surprised to find myself slightly “anxious attachment style”, then realised that is how I was in this relationship. I assumed, since she was studying and is now a therapist, that she works want to discuss this and we would work on it. But she just used it dismissively as a hook to hang her coat on.
She wanted couples therapy, so we went. She stopped after 3 sessions when it got tough. Finally her own therapist dx’ed her, after 7 years, and told her she was in no place to be counseling others, in a relationship or ready to foster a kid.
She’s signed herself into an inpatient program, but at this point I want no part of the process not do I want to be invested in the outcome. My being around is only enough for her to stop being anxious and change state to avoidant, without ever passing through secure.