Norma Collum Good for you to be raising your boys as feminists. It is really astounding — 35–40 years after Gloria Steinem wrote “it is no longer enough to raise our daughters as feminists, we have to raise our boys as feminists”- that not only is this not commonplace but we have Trump.
Elvish Presley My daughters’ mom was considered “rude”, to me it was a sign of strength. I raised my daughters, since they were very young,
- to respond with “Thank you, you too!” to every compliment (it brings a smile to older women’s faces and stops old guys in their tracks)
- that they didn’t have to accept a hug or a kiss from anyone — anyone — if they didn’t want to, not our friends, not their grandma visiting from another continent, not even from me
- with some training to kick people in the nuts if needed and fight “dirty” — they’ve never done it outside of practise, but it gives them a way they “walk in this world”.
Yes, people consider them “rude” or “hostile” and have told me so. But who gives a shit: my kids are incredibly kind and supportive to their friends and schoolmates who need someone to stick up for them, affectionate with me and considerate to others.
My older daughter approached the day laborers in the hardware store parking lot recently and asked how they were managing with the impact of Covid19 on their earnings — some hadn’t eaten, some had worries about feeding their families. So we cooked a giant pot of food and distributed it (to be repeated), and have been taking them fruit from our garden.
I mention this last bit because I think it is relevant — when you aren’t worrying about trying to please random well-meaning idiots you have more energy to think about actual problems that others might have.
(We thought about taking toilet paper to white people who seem to be in desperate need, but we decided to leave the paper throwing to our unprecedented president.)