OMG, 3 of 4 checks (I stopped apologizing and taking blame.) Let me give you an example of the "schedule": We have wanted to go backpacking together for years. Some how she has managed to go with her friends on multiple occasions, but not yet with me. So this summer was supposed to be the one, but when we were making plans in June, she couldn't do July, for some set of reasons that at the time seemed reasonable. She couldn't do early August, as it turned out later, so she could go on weekend trips with her girlfriends. My children would start college and school and alternate weeks in my house in mid August, so it took me some work to figure out how to make work a week after school started. I also postponed job interviews. On the day before we were to leave, she shows up with some emotional aftermath of some complicated personal family stuff she'd agreed to set aside, asks for a day to sort things out, then called late on the day we were to leave to say that she needed more time, could we go in the first week of september.
Together with the emotional fallout, she claimed she'd not been sleeping well and her back and shoulders hurt and so she couldn't go backpacking. I went by myself, the first time with her that I've just protected my plans. I came back to find out from her friend that my partner had gone backpacking by herself!
Why am I still in this? Great question. I think I am in love with the projection in my own head of this person, and the sex, when we have it (headaches, too late, too early ... etc.) is awesome. Is that enough?