Perhaps the sub-heading should read “People focussed on erections ruin sex.”
The first time I heard that from a woman, I'd just expressed, not an "offer" but rather my desire to go down on her. She wanted it too, but said, as expectation setting or warning so I would be prepared to spend time on her, "I should tell you, I take a long time to come.", possibly based on her previous experience with impatient men. I was puzzled, why would I object to playing with her for hours? She later also told me that she "rarely" (never) orgasmed during vaginal intercourse. All of which translated into alternating each other's pleasure, mind-blowing sex and never getting out of bed or off the floor.
I don't think I am submissive, but I enjoy having an erection while my partner and I are both focussed on her pleasure. You can call it delayed gratification or whatever, but that discounts the gratification during the process itself.