Plaintive Privileged White Male Bothsidesist.
You are "sad", but there is little cost to you of being wrong - probabilistically, no misandrist is going to kill you, no BIPoC is going to kill you, no cop is going to kill you in your car in front of your kids, no upper caste Hindu is going to kill you... . Enjoy your privilege of being "sad".
The point, which you obviously missed, is that when you can't tell from outside which of that group (men, whites, US cops, upper caste hindus, ...) is not going to do you grievous harm, you have to distrust and be wary of anyone and everyone from that group.
In any case, no one, not the author of the book under discussion, nor the reviewer nor any of the respondents are "normalising hatred of a group". But we do know exactly what kind of hatred the wiemen who showed up for treason at the US Capitol are normalising, or are afraid of it getting denormalised.