Really funny, thanks.

Things women have said to me (soon) after sex:

The worst: “I should have told you before, I’m sorry, but I just needed you, I have …, but it isn’t flaring right now.”

“Did I tell you before that I was an EMO?” (Yes, this cuts both ways … ;-)

“I think we should see each other again.

But not a date or anything.

I mean just as friends.

But with benefits of course.” (Of course.)

“Did you fake that?”

“Why are you so surprised? I am a grown woman.” (First date.)

“Do you still respect me? You don’t think I’m easy do you? I never do that until after 5–6 dates.” (Different woman, second date.)

“Easy up, easy down.” (After the second time.)

“Was I your first?” (After the third time. And “Yes.”, but I didn’t admit it until a week later.)

“Maybe you should practice Kegels.” (During that week.)

“No, don’t do that, I hardly know you!”

“I don’t want you to tell anyone, I don’t want my husband finding out.”

“Honey, you woke my kids!”

“Yayy! We weren’t interrupted by the SFPD!”

The best: “Should we eat now before the food gets cold?”