Thanks for putting in stark relief the speciousness of the “it’s just porn, it has nothing to do with misogyny” defense of porn. I think your gut reaction to finding the porn on your spouse’s computer was completely understandable. To extend your analogy and use it, ask your male friends who claim to be animal-lovers and with self-proclaimed animal-loving partners how they would react if they found animal-torture videos on their partner’s computer or search bars.

Other questions worth exploring: 1. Are we confounding erotica with porn too often? One of the differences, I think, is misogyny. Others are consent, violence etc. 2. Do your women friends watch porn or erotica? Would they prefer erotica if that were more easily available and prevalent? 3. I’ve noticed a difference in sexual behavior between women who have watched porn “regularly” and those who haven’t (and it isn’t in sexual open-ness or sex-positivity), have your women friends noticed this about themselves?

I stop to miau to cats.

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