This is dating we are talking about? Most people’s “lessons” are only what they think went wrong last time or the previous few times, severely over-indexed. This leaves no room for the completely different person the next date might be (unless of course you are one of those many people who only date within some very narrow reactive spectrum).

Somebody with more empathy might not react closed-mindedly to your apparent self-protectiveness and guardedness, might ask you about it, discuss it with you, might be self- and universally- aware enough to know that most people carry “baggage” (as long as it has wheels, I think it is okay, baggage is better than furniture), including themselves, and that there is no absolute reason to go through a “mourning” period before one can date.

I stop to miau to cats.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store