Women taking about masturbation in public or with each other is a recent phenomenon. So what we see now may be a response to women’s sexuality being increasingly accepted, women’s orgasms being more complicated (perhaps) and a hunger for information starting as far back as OBOS, Dr. Ruth …

As some of your other respondents have pointed out, male masturbation is seen as a replacement for the “real thing”. So we are conditioned to see it as a failure. Of course it is pathological and part of the same spectrum on which incels claim to be owed sex.

If (single, young) men talk about masturbation with each other it is not about “technique” but rather about how often, when, where, how quick or how long, what material they used for arousal or who they were fantasizing about — all meta data.

Men with partners (both heterosexual and gay men) don’t talk about masturbation because it (masturbation) is seen as a failure or as a replacement, they may see it as a relationship problem or their being disloyal to their partners.

But boys do talk about masturbation! : In books (the scene in “Summer of 42” where one of them gets his penis stuck in a Coke bottle) and in real life (in boarding school — palm-up/palm-down, humping a pillow or a crease in the mattress, lemon-squeezing the glans …).

Perhaps the after-effects are “gross”: hide the evidence, sticky, smells, stains, washing semen off (should you try immediately or wait till it is dry and flakes off? …). During the 70s, when the Indian Government started distributing free condoms everywhere (banks, on the countertop, you didn’t even have to ask for them), older boys would wear condoms to masturbate to avoid the clean-up issues (and delay ejaculation).

I stop to miau to cats.

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