“You know how the left wing of the Aryans went West, crossed the Caucasus and became white? You used to call yourselves Caucasians until you realised that really isn’t a race, right? Anyways, the right wing went East and so Indians are Aryans, so much so that there was a whole bunch of us who fought for the Axis (well, the Japs, actually, as consolation for not being able to join the Nazis directly) and we still love wearing khaki shorts. Also, on dating sites, there are a lot of white women (not wearing pink hats, strangely, which can be quite a turn-on if they aren’t wearing anything else) who only want to date white men. So can I still be a white nationalist (only on dating sites and under the sheets, so to speak) even if I am like, actually, brown(-ish), and if it is only because I want to sleep with white women? By the way yaar, I know you aren’t talking about my kind when you talk about those other brown people, I totally get it!” Wanna B. White, Sunnyvale, CA